A Holiday Intention
by Shannon DeJesus, AMFT 128629
December 13, 2021
The holidays are a time of year filled with hustle and bustle, from the decorations to the gift shopping, holiday parties, Christmas cards, and the list goes on. With all the busyness, you might find your schedule filled up with to-dos and engagements, quicker than you can say “Merry Christmas!” While many of the activities that occupy this special time are meant to be fun in nature, all the expectations can quickly become draining if we aren’t careful. What the holidays symbolize comes laden with meaning from the media, our personal backgrounds, spiritual beliefs and family traditions. For some, the act of buying and receiving gifts takes center stage, and if you are one of these individuals: you truly enjoy the buzz of the mall, and the feel of bags in your hands with thoughtful items is gratifying. For others, it's quality time with friends and family, and spending dedicated time with those special people in your life, sharing meals and making memories. And still for others, we find this time of winter solstice to be one of rest and rejuvenation, perhaps spending more time inside, going to bed earlier and reviewing how we spent the year. None of these preferences are right or wrong; rather there are as many ways to celebrate the Holidays as there are people! Taking some time to reflect on what the holidays mean to you can help make the season feel more genuine and not just swept up in the tide of celebrations. It can help you mindfully spend your time in a way that feels authentic to your intentions, rather than “what you should be doing” or “what you are supposed to do.”
Now, I’d like you to think about the word Holidays. What words come to mind? Are there feelings? Smells? Sensations? Write down, or think about, what comes up for you with the word Holidays. Take some time today to think back on the last few years and how you spent the holidays. You might want to write down your answers to the following questions or choose just to think about them. What memories immediately stick out to you? Who were the people present? Did you travel, or stay close to home? What were you doing? Where were you? Is there any situation that pops out as not preferable? What situations or events did you enjoy the most. For some, this might be a happy exercise, for others, Holidays have historically been a stressful time and the memories that come up can be difficult. Try to meet these thoughts or feelings that arise with kindness, as the tough parts of the holidays you have experienced can provide a starting point for what you don’t want this holiday season to be. For example, if the word ‘expectations’ came up, you might contemplate how you can practice saying “no” more and being more judicious with your energy. If past years felt too busy, perhaps this year a focus will be on peace, quiet or balance. If you enjoyed giving in past years, and that stands out, then open your browser to Amazon and get to shopping, friend! Take another few moments to reflect on what you have written, or thought about, and complete the sentence, “For me, the Holidays mean….. “
Once you have your holiday meaning, brainstorm some ideas on how to make this holiday season and the schedule you have ahead align with that meaning. If the holidays mean connection to you, pull out your planner and phone and start setting up some merriment dates. If the holidays mean rejuvenating and reflecting, then maybe it's time to cancel some social obligations and put on your house slippers. Perhaps the holidays mean a time of festivity, in which case you head over to Starbucks, order a sugar cookie almond latte, and meet a friend to look at Christmas lights together. Maybe it’s a little bit of all of this! Whatever the holidays mean to you, taking some time to truly connect to the Why of the Holidays, will help you know what’s right for You in the who, what, where and when of this season.
